09/11/11: What is Forgiveness?

It was the 11th of September and at around 3:00 in the afternoon when me and my girl decided to go to church. Though I admit I am not one as pious as of those out there, I still do know how to give thanks for the blessings which I receive on a daily basis. Normally, I am not one as to share any of my everyday experiences to anyone at random, but that date became a bit memorable in a way. Not because it is the nth anniversary of “The bombing of the Twin Towers” or whatever people refer it to, but rather, because for the very first time in my life, no church experience has left such a bitter taste to me.

But before I even go the juicy part of the experience, I would like to say something to those who would be reading this in the future; “This is just an opinion and should not be taken offensively by anyone”. This remark actually came from a professional Magic: The Gathering player and since it fits perfectly to today’s story, I have decided to use it. 🙂

Moving forward, I don’t know what’s with that day but things seem to be pretty chaotic in the church mass. But for some reason, the choir seems sleepy and obviously out of tune. I do understand that they may be exhausted from practice or just simply nervous but I just can’t help but take notice the way they sang the opening song. It is as if the choir members are not themselves. And I am pretty sure that the priest who preceded that mass would surely agree with my observation.

But that’s not much of a big deal really. Things like these do happen and it may just be a coincidence that I was there at that time to observe it. Another thing would be the group of people sitting at the next row behind us. For some reason, they keep on shoving and shoving our bench away from them causing me and my girl to find ourselves in an uncomfortable tight space. Imagine you’re standing and your chair gets to be pushed forward causing you to move a bit forward. And since there is another chair in front of you, you’ll end up being on a tight spot since it is not like you can just move the chair in front of you so you can have sufficient space for yourself. Now, now, I don’t usually take this into heart but the people at the back just kept on pushing us over and over and you’ll come to the point that you can no longer ignore it. But since we’re in the church, I kept myself from having to look behind me and glare at those people and tell them to behave or something.


And if that was annoying enough for me, what took the cake was an elderly lady deliberately asking me if she can go first in line for the communion. I know that the gospel was all about forgiving people and forgetting but does that excuses people in general to take advantage of such a holy ceremony? Or hallowed place to begin with? Of course, with all due respect to the church, I just smiled and turned to my girl who was just behind me at that time and said “Forgiveness” with a sarcastic tone and smirk on my face. People asking me for small things don’t really bother me that much under normal circumstances but what happened back then was not just about the request but rather a “clean” way of taking advantage of people which for me is just totally unacceptable. That person did not dare ask those who are ahead of me first and asked me instead if she could go first in the line because she clearly wanted to take advantage of her status and at the same time, the locale which was what annoyed me the most.

Whenever I think of the gospel last Sunday, I always wonder if priests, holymen, clergymen could simply walk up to those who have become victims of the Twin Tower Bombing and tell them to forgive those who have killed their loved ones. And at the same time, expect compliance from those who have lost their loved ones. Frankly, forgiving people may sound easy but I don’t think that a person, for example, who’s a victim of having his wife murdered, his daughters raped and so forth would agree with it. Even if it is not an easy thing to do, I really wonder if most people in this world would be able to apply such teachings just like that in their daily lives when the wrong doings are far grave around us.

Before going home, me and my girl decided to stop over at a nearby convenience store and while heading there, I happened to read this print at the back of a car’s mirror saying “Forgiving others is being kind to yourself.” I looked at my girlfriend and smiled and said “Fine. I got the message.”